No One But Me
by Shinigami Duo
Summary: Shinji muses to a new song.


Disclaimer: No I don't own Evangelion, nor do I own the song. I'm not gonna give away what the song is so read it and find out. Oh, I do own the story concept though, yeah its true...  
  
Shinji lay on his bed. It was night and he'd had enough of listening to Asuka call him stupid and scream he was a pervert. He wasn't stupid. Asuka didn't know he had the top grades in the class, even beating hers.  
  
* And I'm not a pervert, either, stupid hypocritical bitch. *, He thought. He sighed. If she was such a strong willed, assertive, decisive... He sighed. Of course that was why.  
  
Rolling over, he grabbed his SDAT and the tape he'd recently found in his box of stuff, left over from when he'd moved. He didn't think it was his, until he'd found the box of them. Then he'd known they weren't his. But he figured, what the hell, so here he found himself setting it to random play, trying to see what type of music he had. He looked at the screen, reading the title of the song about to play, Fade To Black.  
  
At first he couldn't hear anything, but then, at the edges of his hearing he heard the volume rising. Then an acoustic guitar joined it. The slow rhythm began to lull his eyes closed, and he found himself sinking into the music. He could hear the emotion, layered thick on the very track, could feel the intensity with which the song was played. A rare emotion occurred within him, and he smiled.  
  
Then the lyrics began.  
  
Life it seems, to fade away, Drifting further every day, Getting lost within myself, Nothing matters no one else,  
  
Those words hit home. The lyrics seemed written just for him. Images appeared in his head. The pain of fighting the 3rd angel, alone. The isolation of the 12th. Asuka's mind rape, Rei's sacrifice. He felt the tears and closed his eyes again.  
  
I have lost the will to live, Simply nothing more to give, There is nothing more for me, Need the end to set me free  
  
His brow clenched, and Shinji frowned. Rage, began bubbling forth from within him. He'd been thrown into the fight with no knowledge of his opponent, no training, no experience. And the one person supposed to care for him had done it. The bastard known as Gendo Ikari.  
  
Things not what they used to be, Missing one inside of me, Deathly loss, this can't be real, Cannot stand this hell I feel,  
  
Emptiness is filling me, To the point of agony, Growing darkness taking dawn, I was me, but now he's gone  
  
His eyes shot open. Within a new flame blazed. This was not Shinji Ikari, as most knew him. This was the Shinji Ikari who had leapt into an active volcano. Who had taken a particle whip through the chest. Who had single handedly taken an angel capable of vivisecting him in an instant, and ripped it apart. This was Shinji Ikari, Evangelion Pilot.  
  
No one but me can save myself, but it's too late, Now I can't think, think why I should even try Yesterday seems as though it never existed, Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye  
  
It wasn't too late. For the first time in his life Shinji felt alive, and that life was worth living. He didn't need anyone. Not that he would object to there company, but he didn't need someone else to have a reason to live. Life was reason enough. He blinked the last tear from his eye, and wiped them on his sleeve. He thanked fate for the gift.  
  
He was broken from his reverie by the loud thumping at his door.  
  
"Third, get your ass out here! I'm hungry!" Shinji could practically envision the look on Asuka's face. He grinned. Usually this behaviour would piss him off, but then he'd go and act like some kind of slave dog. Not today. He rose and walked to the door.  
  
"You're hungry? Ok, grab a coat, lets go grab something, to eat. I'll meet you at the door in 5." He closed the door. Walking over to his closet, he grabbed a change of clothes and his wallet. On the way out of the room he glanced at the SDAT.  
  
"No-one but me can save myself, but this time it's not too late." He mumbled and exited.  
  
He met up with Asuka at the door. She looked stunned. Her face quickly reverted to its normal, cocky expression.  
  
"So baka, where are we going?"  
  
"I don't know, but we'll find out. Come on." He offered her his arm, and was surprised when she took it.  
  
"Ok but you're paying."  
  
"Sure." "So what are we waiting for, I'm hungry!" And with that she dragged him out of the door.  
  
Somewhere up above Fate smiled. . . . . . . . . . A/N No I don't own Fade To Black either. But it is a good song. Anyway, this is my first songfic, so be nice and review. Cheers All. 


End file.
